I feel that my interests in women is over. I don't find women attractive anymore. Tonight I finally realised, when I was sitting at the food court and look at those women with shorts, practically showing maximum part of their legs and with tight shirt to show off their boobs, finally I realised that part of the confusion was not about I am obsessed with boobs and legs, but I was curious what they look like, but I was not obsessed with them. It is only natural to wonder what they look like, when most time in your life they are completely covered and I've never seen those ones at the food court. About what I am going to do with legs and boobs, I have completely come to an understanding that there is actually very little that worth anything. It may make you feel good, but it is stupid.
Another reason why my interests in women is over: I am not the type to converse with another human being 'in my home'. I am always constantly thinking by myself and the existence of another human being in my life would be troublesome and I don't feel completely myself if I am with another person. A woman is one thing, but a child would be even worse, because hey, what am I going to do with them? I will have to interact with them again and again, which is not my nature. Do I want them to be my investments, get real, I don't think that's the right way. It is quite funny because I am convinced most of you never thought about this, you just breed, breed and breed. Because why? Because that's what people do, we are just following what people has been doing. And that sex is good, which is what I am going to say in the following below.
For every woman I know, I have never came across one that impressed me, not in my life. Of course, there are a few who performed very well in one or two areas, but these women have disappoint me very badly in other areas, and these are areas that really matters to me. For example: one maybe a hardworker and get good results both in school and at work, but she failed to speak nicely, in fact, she speaks like she was uneducated like she was from the street saying bad words that I can't take anymore. Another example: she maybe good at school and at work, but she is not the social type hardly say anything in a very long time, her mind was trained to think in abstraction with math equation and complicated terms that's why she would be slow in most social situations. Another example: she may be good enough at school or at work, but she is not confident and that she was not good enough for me, so she went away. Another example: she maybe good at school, but her general ideas are so low, that everything she said was completely from somebody else or from the book, and none of it was carefully digested/considered, she is practically a tape recorder that repeats everything, but she doesn't know what is right. Which is what a tape recorder does, repeats everything. It would be good if it is all good stuff repeated, but how about the bad stuff? If you lack the engine to separate them, what you say potentially are bad stuff. The list go on and on and on.
In my opinion, sex is a very disgusting process and it is not my interest to perform them. If you really think about it, the activity is a very monotone one, and repetitive for a very very long time. Why would you do it? Because it gives pleasure. But if you really think about it, there is actually nothing to it. Besides, your genitals would then be covered with so much liquid which by then you wouldn't know which liquid is from whom, and yet you just keep doing the same thing over and over again, which is disgusting. Have you heard that the first impression is the right one? You are right, sex is disgusting. I don't really see the need. It is stupid but it gives pleasure, no wonder people are embarrassed, and only idiots see it as a joke because it is actually stupid. Morons!
Here is what I sent to some of my friends before: marriage is a very embarrassing thing to do. You tell EVERYONE that you will keep doing sex to ONLY one person over and over again, and there is no other way of doing it, and then you will have children which of course is the fruit of your effort, which is of course, embarrassing too. For the rest of your life. I am convinced that marriage is not something that is necessary. In fact, I think in old days, it would be a good thing to not tell anyone who is the father of your baby. One way to do that would be for the woman to say that she was forced to have sex, and then the father was not known and could get away.
Since the beginning of time, there is nothing wrong with being single and in fact, many people do stay single and never marry.
I am convinced, that if I marry those women, they would actually bring me down instead of bringing me up. If they don't bring me down, they would at least SLOW me down. So what am I going to do next? I am not sure but as I said, my interests in women is over. I finally passed that bit behind me, in fact I am actually thinking that living like a Monk is not a bad thing. It is more important not to think about it. My interest in women is over.
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